And Then There Were Three

 

We’re going to be parents!!

We wasted no time at all starting a little family! Tom and I agreed not to put too much pressure and expectation on ourselves to conceive right after our wedding, so getting pregnant so quickly was a bit of a surprise.

We discussed when we would consciously start “working on it” and agreed that right after the wedding would be the best time.  We decided that I would come off of birth control in mid-August right before our wedding in September, to give my body, what we thought would be, several months to get it’s natural groove back.

I did use the P Tracker app to keep a log of my cycles and any weird things happening with my body during the “re-sync” stage. This was mainly to make sure that I was consistent and to know whether or not Tom and I would need to try alternative methods of conceiving down the road should it take longer than 6 months (according to my doctor) for anything to happen.

This little person growing in my tummy couldn’t wait very long and right after we returned from our honeymoon in October, tah-dah – I was pregnant. We confirmed all the weirdness and “something isn’t normal” feelings I had in mid-November when I took an at-home pregnancy test and saw two pink lines, confirming we were going to go from two to three, in nine months!

I don’t think it hit home for either of us. I mean, yea we saw two pink lines telling us we were pregnant, but I didn’t look it, and aside from my aches and pains, bloating, and exhaustion, I couldn’t feel anything in there. I didn’t feel pregnant other than all the symptoms I was/am experiencing. After our first ultrasound, it registered that there was definitely a little life in my tummy, but the fact that I couldn’t and still can’t feel anything still makes it feel a little unreal.

All I knew was that from when we had that two line confirmation, I needed to amp up my self-care and self-love (and so did Tom!). In the first trimester, everything we read about the first 12 weeks of pregnancy was that it’s the time of high risk for miscarriage. I knew that whatever was meant to be, would be, but I was determined to nourish myself as best as I could. This did become slightly challenging when I developed all day nausea for about 8 weeks and is now history in my 17th week. Each day gets a little easier and I can stay awake past 7:30pm.

As the days pass by and this tummy of mine is slowly growing, it’s starting to hit home. I wake up in the middle of the night a few times in the week with all kinds of things racing through my mind – will we be able to cope, will we be good parents, will our little one grow up to be someone who embraces all the best attributes one could hope for in a child they raise, like not being an a**hole, has a big heart, lots of will power, honest, determined, appreciates the gift of life, has a great set of values, and just a super cool soul? We can only try our best.

Tom and I already feel the immense support from family and friends with words of advice, encouragement and support, helpful tips, books, and pre-loved maternity and baby gear being freely passed on to us. We are both so grateful and look forward to sharing this time and adventure with you.

And in case you’re wondering, we’re NOT going to find out the sex! I’m itching to know and Tom wants a surprise – so we will wait until baby’s arrival for the big reveal.

 

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Our Wedding

Hard to believe it’s already been 4 months since we said I-do. It’s so true what they say – the day goes by so quickly! It’s unreal. I tried to put to use all the words of wisdom we got leading up to the day, and I’m so thankful for those tidbits of knowledge. We had the most incredible day ever and were so happy to hear our guests say it was “the best wedding I’ve ever been to – hands down.” What a compliment!

We couldn’t have re-lived the day without our beautiful photos taken by Christine Reid. Everyone loved her. She knew how to jive with us and our guests and was such a pleasure to work with. Christine was wonderful at capturing important details, including our handmade decor, candid moments, and so much emotion and personality of all our guests.

I hope you are able to enjoy our day as much as we did, at least a little, through our photos.

I was determined to have our wedding outside as planned. I put all my thoughts, wishes and hopes out there into the universe and asked for no rain during the ceremony and photos. I said  “after 7pm the weather can do whatever it wants because we will be in the tent.” It did exactly that. At 3pm the skies cleared just in time for the pre-ceremony photos, the ceremony, and remained that way until part-way through the dinner service, at which point it poured rain on and off for the evening. We were lucky it wasn’t windy and our guests loved that it added to the atmosphere.

Tom and I poured our hearts into DIY’ing almost every detail we possibly could, not only to save on costs, but to ensure it reflected us as individuals and as a couple.  If it was wood or paper – we made it! Clearly we love a good challenge.

Photo credit | Maid of Honour

We both had the most incredible day and couldn’t believe how amazingly everything worked out. The entire week called for rain on the day of, with (very) warm temperatures. We learned afterwards that there were warnings for hail and a tornado!

Photo credit | Maid of Honour

If I could relive the day (minus the planning part), I would. Over and over again.

Tent + Rentals | Encore Tents
Washroom trailer | Harris Septic
Florals | Dahlia May Flower Farm (custom made boutonnieres + bouquet. DIY centre pieces, aisle chair decor + arbour decor)
Caterer | Farm Girl Food
Cake | Dufflet
Wedding dress | Handmade by the Bride’s sister
Bride’s make-up | Mix Beauty Lab
Groom’s bow-tie + Pocket square | The Belle and The Beau
Wedding Party Shoes | ALDO (Pinterest “Inspired by I Do” contest grand prize winner)
Bridesmaid dresses | Twobirds found at LoversLand bridal store in Toronto, ON
Bride’s rhinestone belt + clutch purse |
ALDO (Pinterest “Inspired by I Do” contest grand prize winner)
Music | DJ Paul Martin
Officiant | All Seasons Weddings
Coach Bus | Tripps Unlimited

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Why It’s Rude To Ask “Are You Pregnant?”

I don’t make it a habit of publicly venting about things, but this question is starting to get under my skin. I apologize if this post comes off a bit harsh and negative.

Tom and I got married (yay!) on September 10th this fall (post and photos coming soon), and from the get go there was talk about us getting pregnant. I know this is a commonly expected occurrence to take place after a couple gets married, if they’ve chosen to follow this order of events. At first it was easy to laugh off, but now it’s just annoying. From the sneaky ways of asking, assumptions, and demanding that we “get started now.”

I’ve never asked someone “are you pregnant?” And I try not to insinuate the possibility to couples. My reasoning is simple and considers the situation of others’, not just my own.

BEFORE ASKING “ARE YOU PREGNANT” CONSIDER THESE THINGS

Does the couple want to have children?

Do you know whether the couple intends on having children or whether they have changed their minds about the idea? If a couple has chosen not to have children, this could become quite annoying – to have others assume you will be having kids when you are not planning on it.

Miscarriage

How do you know that this couple hasn’t been trying, managed to succeed, only to have miscarried? This question can be quite hurtful and bring up memories of a very tough and emotional time.

Ruining the surprise

If you’re asking someone who is pregnant but still very early on in their pregnancy, you’re putting them on the spot to either lie or tell the truth. And if someone ends up telling you they are pregnant very early on, you’ve ruined the moment for when they are ready to share their big news, especially if they haven’t told their family and close friends.

Personal dietary choices

Just because someone chooses not to drink alcohol or eat a certain food, doesn’t automatically mean they’re pregnant. Myself for example, I’m not much of a drinker and so I usually will have a cranberry and soda if I’m not feeling like a Cesar. I also stay away from certain liquors and wine since I seem to have an allergic reaction to them. Combine that with asthma, and it’s no fun. I’m also not a fan of runny eggs – so no, I don’t get excited about eggs benedict. Don’t forget, some women might actually just be bloated due to something they ate.

Bodies take time to recover

If a woman has just had a baby, chances are her body is going to take a while to recover. I don’t know what grueling workout regimes and diets celebrities put their bodies through post pregnancy, but for regular folk, it can take more than a few months for a woman’s body to return to “normal.”

Unable to have children

Assuming that all women and men are capable of having children, is ignorant. Asking if someone is pregnant who cannot have children, can be very upsetting.

Not your sex life. Not your Fertility. Not your business.

I can only speak for myself on this one, but I’d rather not get into the details of my sex life with my family, friends, co-workers, no one. No one needs to know how often we’ve been having sex and what superstitious methods we might or might not be using to conceive. At the end of the day, this topic is no one else’s business other than the couple themselves, whether they are adopting, trying to conceive naturally, using a surrogate, etc.

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What To Wear To An Office Holiday Party

officeparty

 

Deciding what to wear to the office holiday party is always somewhat of a challenge. At my office, what we do each year is always different, and this is what makes it’s a bit of a chore to figure out what to wear, especially if you go straight from the office into your celebration. I also have to decide on what to wear to Tom’s company party, but they do the same thing each year, so the “dilemma” here is going with a look that’s different than the year before.

Here are a few basic rules I follow when I’m trying to figure out the perfect ensemble for a company holiday party:

Time Of Day. Weekday Or Weekend.

The time of day and whether your event takes place on a weekday or on a weekend determines a few things. If your holiday party is during the day, on a weekday or weekend,  you are probably safe in wearing what you would regularly wear to the office, but this is also dependent on the venue and any activities planned.

If your party is in the evening, during a weekday, then you will most likely need to already be dressed for it when leave for the office in the morning, or bring a change of clothes and shoes. If your event is on a weekend, then you’re lucky to have the day to prep and get ready without the extra hassle of packing a change of clothes.

Do: Up The Wow Factor
Don’t be afraid to wear a skirt, pants, blouse or dress with a metallic finish or some sparkle.
Venue

You never want to be over or under dressed for the venue where your celebration is being held. Wearing jeans where they are not permitted or getting decked out for a pub dinner,  might leave you feeling a bit out of place.

Don’t: Bare It All
Avoid wearing a mini skirt and plunging neckline together. Do one or the other.

Will There Be Any Planned Activities?

If it’s a night of dancing, you want to be sure you are wearing items that are comfortable to move in. That doesn’t mean lose baggy clothes and ballerina flats, but opt for clothing items with some stretch and softness and invest in a pair of gel shoe pads that cushion your heels, toes and balls of your feet.

Do: Have Fun With Your Accessories
If you want to have fun and go bold with your accessories, choose one statement piece paired with simpler items.

 

Top Photo | ELLE

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How To Survive A Blended Family

modern-family

 

My parents divorced several years ago when my siblings and I were all in our adult years. My father recently remarried and there began our blended family. His new wife has children who range in ages from 7yrs to early 20’s, while my siblings and I range from age 28 to 34 – it’s quite the spread!

The adjustment hasn’t been difficult for me, personally. Having been an adult when my parents divorced and when my father remarried, made it a little easier to adjust. After all, I no longer lived at home, and had a life of my own. While we all got along and seemed to settle into this new dynamic, a smooth transition isn’t usually the case for all blended families. There are many factors, people, relationships, and bonds to take into account when attempting to meld both families, whether you are the parent, child, or new spouse.

Keep communication open

It’s not always easy to speak your mind without offending someone else – communication is the one thing seldom mastered. By establishing a method of communication that works best between you and each family member, you can address problems or gritty situations before they snowball or avalanche out of hand.

Start with an open mind and be genuine

Regardless of your role in a blended family, don’t push yourself onto new step-family members. I know it’s natural to want to form a strong bond immediately, but this could actually work against you if you push too hard. Take it one step at a time, be yourself, and let your relationship flow naturally.

If you’re the new spouse, remember not to impose a “parent” role onto young or adult children. Keep in mind the kind of relationships that still exist between birth parents. Not all children of divorced families have a parent who is MIA. Where children experience the divorce of their parents in their adult years, there will very likely still be loyalty and strong bonds to your spouse’s ex.

Make room for one-on-one time

I think it is important to allow your spouse the space they need to have time alone with their children, young or old. It’s important to respect the relationships and bonds that have formed between them before you, and allow room for that relationship to continue to grow. Unfortunately, that may mean spending time together that may not include you. On the flip side, take time for you and your spouse to reconnect, and, most importantly, take time for you.

Don’t Interfere

If you’re an adult child with a parent who has remarried, be mindful not to meddle in your parents’ relationship, give them space to adjust to their new lives as a couple, and try to be as supportive as you can. If your newly-wed parent is happy, why interfere with that?

Plan group get-togethers

This is a great way to create bonding and relationship building between both families. When you become more comfortable with each other, your time spent together is more relaxing and fun!

 

Are you a part of a blended family? What advice do you have for children and parents in this type of family dynamic?

 

Top Photo | Just Watch

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